when i look at all the pictures of us at your house with your family

how i felt so at home and liked

i felt like i was actually apart of your family

because you sure were and still are apart of mine

everyone misses you

but i miss you the most.

and now its all over. 

i wish one day ide just wake up, be in my old room, on my actual bed, with you

like how we both used to snuggle close on my old twin bed

THAT old

before you actually moved in with your bed

and had your own room

i wish i could wake up then because that would be my safety net

you loved me so much

called me the perfect boyfriend

the nicest guy

everything ive never heard before

i would make every move and think before i say very cautiously

because every move can fuck something up

now youve cut me completely out of your life.

you dont even talk to my friends about it anymore…

you want to try the things you wanted to try without me

i want to hate you so badly…you have no idea how badly i just want to forget about you

but i cant. forgetting about you would be forgetting who i am

it felt like i was put here on earth to be with you and make you happy

and now that were not together i have to find out my meaning again…

i got lucky with you. you got lucky with me…

i wish youd see that too.

these past month and a half has been the worst ive ever had to go through.

i dont know how im still alive or not in the hospital. 

i dont even want to be here

why cant wishes and dreams just EVER come true