ive come up with what i would say to you if i ever got the chance to talk to you…

im sorry for everything. im sorry for being a bad boyfriend when i should have treated you like i always wanted to you and the way you deserve

im sorry for getting mad at you when i shouldnt have 

im sorry for breathing down your neck all the time and not giving you your space when you needed it…i just wanted you to stop being mad at me so badly and quickly because i was sorry…

im sorry for saying stupid things. its like i was on autopilot and i didnt think…and thanks to me saying those stupid fucking things my life is ruined. they pushed you away

im sorry for not wanting your baby brother to crawl on me and shit cause of my germaphobia…hes jsut a baby its not like anything of his could hurt me

im sorry for not staying the night that night where we watched the road and i ordered pizza for us…i should have just stayed. i would have been able to give you a goodnight kiss either way and im sorry….

im sorry for getting mad at you for smoking cigarrettes. its just that ive been around them my whole life and i wanted you to not smoke them and ruin yourself so badly…

im sorry for everything ive ever done that embarassed you when we were out or on facebook…

im sorry for being so protective. your my first and only girlfriend and love…your the love of my life and i didnt want anyone to come inbetween us…i didnt want to let anything i felt like was a threat come into our relationship…i tried so hard to protect you from people but in the end all i was doing was making you hate me

i couldnt even protect you from me

im sorry that i acted like my dad to you

i cant help it…its in my genes. i dont want to act like that but sometimes i just do it without realizing it. im so sorry…

im sorry that it took me so long to grow up and get a job when i should have already been trying to work…

im sorry i didnt always have the money i wanted to to buy you the things i want to buy you

im sorry that hurt you on accident sometimes when we would play around and leave bruises

i never tried to its just that you bruise so easily…those things where just reflexes…im sorry

you were always right even when we both knew you were wrong…i was wrong even though i was right … your the one i love so you know best…

im sorry that we couldnt have another chance

i would have tried so hard to make this time a adult relationship where we have our space when needed and still have a life with our friends

im sorry i couldnt give you everything you wanted

im sorry im so fucking stupid and pushed you away from me without even knowing it

i thought you would always be there for me…but i was wrong

now your gone and im the one left crying the whole time of me being by myself 

im sorry that i fucked up so bad

im sorry that all i do all day is look at our pictures together and look through our box and read our notes

im sorry that im so pathetic without you

im sorry that i dont know who i am anymore 

and that your so happy with your life now that you can do what you wanted to do

im sorry jeannine/ i know youre not going to read this so im sorry