i wish one day youd wake up next to me like you used to

and ide kiss your forhead and tell you “goodmorning baby” like i used to

and we’d be in love like we used to

and thered be nothing that could take you from me

before i was fucking stupid

before you moved in 

when you used to stay the night and ide have to take you home every night

i wish i could just do it all over again

you dont know what i would do to fucking get one more chance 

ide do anything

ide kill anyone

ide cut off any one of my friends for you

i hate myself so much for doing everything i did to lead to this

i hunt around my room for shit that you left here

i want you back so badly everytime i say your name i get teary eyed

you have no idea how much you meant to me

i couldnt even believe i had you

but like all good things

it was too good to be true 

my life has no meaning to it

i only wanted to live to serve you

you were the only person to ever make me not hate kids

and not hate the world

and not hate everyone and everything

you saved me when i was on the road to ruin

and now im on it again

and theres no one that can help me or stop me from heading to the end 

except for you

but you dont care…

i dont even know why i still want you after everything youve put me through

i guess i just love you unconditionally 

but one day you will do something

that i wish you hadnt

and will force me to get over you

and forget

and you’ll always just be my “first love that fucked me over”

and ill always just wonder what could have happened if you just gave me the second chance that i needed to make you and me the happiest couple ever