im sorry i loved you too much

all i did was hurt myself more and more

cause now im the one feeling stupid for still wanting you

when your life is just so fucking great right now care free singleness

i hate how i let you effect my life so much

i hate how i was so attached to you and how this hurts more than being stabbed in the heart

you dont want me in your life why cant i just get over you

it hurts to know the love of my life doesnt give a shit and has a perfect life now

perfect friends

perfect family

perfect job for you

how the fuck would i benefit her anymore?

i cant even benifit myself or my friends

all i was to you was someone to pass the fucking time with

if you still actually had some kind of love for me like you said you did you wouldnt be doing this to me 

i wish i could say to you that your just a memory in my head of what happiness was like

and how ill never experience it again with you

and that hurts the most

im tired of everything

i have no soul

i have no mind

ive gone crazy

just because i fucking loved you too much…

and you didnt

jeannine im sorry for everything i did ok… im not perfect

i wish that for now we could atleast be friends

but i know it would be to hard for me to just be friends

and not kiss and hold you

or hold your hand when were out

or just get to look at you in admiration

or call you my baby ever again…

why cant the world be the way I WANT IT TO BE … atleast just this once

i hate how im nothing to you

and how everyone you know is happy that were not together

and im here rotting from the inside

because i still love you

i want my life back…

not the life i have now where im like this

but my life with you

that great year and summer i had with you was the best time of my life

i would relive it over and over if i had the chance

i dont care about all the fights and stupid shit we got mad at eachother for

i just want a chance to do it right

im sorry jeannine

im out of your life now and thats all that matters to you

you ignore anything that has to do with me

got all your friends to hate me

got me to hate me

your happy now

i hate myself so much because of you

there is no promise of eden and things wont get better